Sometimes it just takes one small nudge to make a life-changing decision.
For Jennifer and Jessica Wolfe, it was a Facebook post from International Experience (IE) that got the ball rolling.
“I saw an advertisement, and then I forwarded it over to Jess and said, ‘Hey, what do you think?’” Jennifer said. “She goes, ‘Yeah, let’s do it.’”
The Wolfe family, including their then six-year-old son, Max, decided to take the leap and host David from Germany for one semester. Although his time in the U.S. was cut short by COVID and he had to return to his home country earlier than expected, the memories they created while he was here will last a lifetime.
One of the moms’ main goals in hosting was to give Max the experience of having an older sibling, especially a big brother.
“We thought another boy would be good,” said Jessica. “Max has two moms and lots of girl energy around him, and he’s pretty sporty and loves math and engineering and stuff, so we thought it would be good to have some more boy energy around him.”
As they scrolled through the profiles of available students, David stuck out due to his sporty nature and commitment to school and getting good grades — as it turned out, he was an only child, too.
“Of course, we didn’t know what he looked like when we first saw his profile, but he just looked like Max’s big brother,” Jessica said. “They were very similar, and it was clear that it was a really good fit.”
Host dad, mentor, friend
Before working with IE, Bill Kingman had a life-changing experience hosting a German student through a different exchange organization. Kingman and his then-partner even visited that student’s family in Berlin after the exchange year was over.
After a cross-country move and a difficult divorce, Kingman found that he still felt a pull to provide mentorship and fill the “big brother” role for more international high school students. When he heard about iE, he decided to give hosting on his own a try.
Since then, he’s hosted four students, and built unique, lasting friendships with each one. One of Kingman’s favorite parts of hosting, he said, is sharing his life knowledge with students and learning from them along the way.
“They also teach me so many things, and they always bring different perspectives,” Kingman said.
One particularly memorable experience for Kingman was being able to share part of his own community with a student by bringing him along to a local Pride event.
“In the same way that I was there for him through the adjustment to a new culture and some of the hardships he faced while he was here, this was a way for him to show that he was here with me,” Kingman said. “It’s a trade-off of understanding that’s really special and changes both the host parent’s and the kid’s lives and perspectives.”
Through his work in healthcare management, Kingman has had many opportunities to travel the world. His own love for travel led him to prioritize bringing his students on local trips so they could see more of the U.S. while in-country.
“I think that the best way to learn about a culture is to be active in that culture and see as much as you can, instead of staying in one place for ten months,” Kingman said. “We would go on road trips with friends to places like San Francisco, Vancouver, Portland, the redwoods . . . the enthusiasm and happiness they got from those trips was a great feeling.”
In addition to showing his students more of the U.S., Kingman also got to see a different side of some students’ home countries than he would have on other trips.
When visiting one student’s family in Berlin, Germany, Kingman got to know his student’s parents, who were teenagers when the Berlin wall came down in 1989.
“Even as a well-traveled person, those relationships and conversations wouldn’t just happen on a normal trip to Europe,” Kingman said.
Community + communication
As a single host parent, Kingman leaned a lot on his friends and local community for support, not only for himself but also for his students.
Similarly, the Wolfes were able to lean into German-culture connections in their community to create a sub-community around David to help him in the transition to American life, where he could still speak a bit of his native language and eat some more traditional foods when he was feeling homesick.
When host brother Max’s school hosted a multicultural celebration, David jumped at the opportunity to share his German culture with his host community. His parents even shipped traditional lederhosen to the Wolfe’s Colorado home in preparation for the event, and he, Jennifer, and Jessica prepared spaetzle, a traditional German dish akin to American macaroni and cheese.
“We made probably 15 pounds of spaetzle, and then there was a really bad snow storm — up until recently, we still had so much spaetzle in our freezer,” Jennifer remembers.
In mid-March, David had to return to his home country due to concerns about the spread of COVID. But even though their time together was cut short, the memories he created with the Wolfe family — and the positive bond he created with their son — made the hosting experience worth it.
In terms of advice for families of all shapes and sizes who are thinking about hosting, the Wolfes say communication is the most important piece of ensuring a successful exchange experience.
“We were very clear that we were a two-mom family, and we made sure that our value structure was aligned to the value structure of his family,” Jessica said. “That really helped ensure that we got a kid like David who was well-suited to thrive in our household.”
Kingman echoed the importance of communication — and of setting down technology for the chance to explore the world around you.
“It’s so important to let them really be a part of your community,” Kingman said. “It helps to build a lot of mutual respect.”
Anyone can be the PERFECT host family
Here at IE, we’re always looking for more loving, open-minded host families. Whether you are a same-sex couple or a single parent, boisterous family, empty nesters or anywhere in between, you have what it takes to make the American Dream of an international high schooler come true.
Want to learn more? Visit our hosting page today to learn more.