Ben and Natalie Blackmon of Clarksville, Tennessee never planned to become host parents.
Natalie had been a Local Coordinator with International Experience for over four years, spending that time supporting high school exchange students throughout their time in the USA. She’d watched host families be transformed by the experience, but she hadn’t pictured herself on that side of the equation – until she traveled to a new student orientation in spring 2025, and everything shifted.
“I was told before I left for Germany that I was not allowed to bring any children home with me,” Natalie laughs. “I was so confident that wouldn’t be an issue!”
Although Natalie came home without a student in tow, she couldn’t stop thinking about Sueheyla, a quiet, confident German student she met there, who she describes as “a natural leader and light in every room she entered.”
“She sat with it for a couple days and kind of prayed on it,” recalls her husband, Ben. “One night we’re sitting there watching TV and she goes, ‘I think I want to host.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, cool. Let’s do this’”
Ben’s response surprised even him.
“I trust Natalie’s heart. I trust her gut,” he said, “and if she says that’s the kid that needs to be with us, that’s the kid that needs to be with us.”
Neither Ben nor Natalie had ever parented a teenager, so the prospect of welcoming a 16-year-old from Germany into their home for nearly a year came with a little bit of anxiety.
“You’re inviting someone you’ve never met, from a different culture, from across the world, to come stay in your home for nine, ten months,” Ben says. “And that was compounded by the fact that we’ve never been parents before. There’s really no instruction manual on how to go about doing that.”
Natalie worried about the practical side of things – routines, schedules, school pickups, bleacher-sitting, carving out quality time.
“I was a little concerned about how we would work it all out,” she admits.
But from the moment Süheyla arrived, almost none of those fears materialized.
“Not one moment has it felt unnatural to be considered the local lifeline for this precious soul,” Natalie says.
A couple of weeks into Sueheyla’s stay, Ben was sitting on the back deck one evening when she came outside and stood quietly, staring into the dark yard with a curious expression.
“I was like, ‘What’s on your mind?’ And she asked what the flashes in the yard were,” Ben recalls. “And I was like, ‘Well, those are lightning bugs. Do you not have lightning bugs at home?’ She said no.”
For Ben, what may have seemed like a small moment quickly turned into a core memory not only for Sueheyla, but for him as a host dad.
“I see her just turning in circles, looking up at the sky, and she said, ‘I love the stars.'” Ben pauses. “It just touched my heart so much. We take for granted the world that we live in a lot of times. It was just a really cool experience – seeing the world through the eyes of a child.”
Ask the Blackmons for funny memories from the year, and they can barely narrow it down – like the time Sueheyla asked if they could find some “creeps” (meaning crêpes), or her use of the phrase “medium ugly” to describe a boy at her school she found cute.
But they’ll also treasure the quiet, everyday moments. How Sueheyla never forgets to say “I love you” before bed. How Ben sends her off every morning with the same exhortation to “be a badass today.”
“Watching my husband be a really good host dad, and watching how much she seeks him out for protection and reassurance,” Natalie says. “That is a really sweet memory I’ll carry as a host mom.”
Ben – who admits he was never particularly drawn to the idea of hosting – is, by his wife’s description, “pathetically smitten.” He takes Sueheyla makeup shopping and out for late-night Sonic Blast runs. He carts her to soccer and tennis, making sure her cleats match her jersey. He is, as Natalie puts it, “the ultimate girl dad.”
One of the things the Blackmons got right from the start was keeping communication open – with Sueheyla, yes, but also with her family. Before she even arrived, they were able to FaceTime with her and her mother, learning about household expectations so they could reinforce them consistently.
“We are not trying to replace her mom,” Ben is clear. “We’ve said from the start that we’re extra parents, not ‘instead of’ ones.”
That philosophy has defined their approach to hosting. In Natalie’s experience, great host families lead with flexibility and love.
“Love always breaks down barriers, clears up misunderstandings, and paves roads for clear, respectful, and effective communication,” she says. “She always knows that we will fight for her, with her, and in places she hasn’t walked yet.”
For Ben, it comes down to acceptance – meeting your exchange student exactly where they are, without forcing them into a mold.
“Sometimes you talk to her just like a 30-year-old, and sometimes you realize it’s a 16-year-old girl that’s thousands of miles away from home and can’t just go see their mom. You have to hold space for all of that.”
The Blackmons have thought a lot about legacy – about what mark they leave on the world without children of their own. This year gave them an answer they hadn’t expected.
“To actually feel like a parent, and to develop that genuine love for a kid,” Ben said. “She’s going to go back to Germany, and we’re going to cry, and we’re going to be heartbroken. But we’re going to go see her again. This doesn’t end in June. This is something we’ll carry with us for the rest of our lives.”
Natalie’s vision for the end of the year says it all: “To take her to the airport, through many tears and see-you-later hugs, knowing we’ve done well — that we gave her the safe, stable, loving environment she could have only dreamt of, cementing positive core memories of her American experience, and giving her a for-life soft place to land wherever, whenever she needs us.”