Cultural Differences and Understanding Part 1: The Culture Factor

It should come as no surprise that we believe hosting an exchange student is a wonderful and life-changing experience. But we also know from years of experience that parenting someone else’s teenager, no matter where they’re from, can come with unique challenges of its own.

We’ve had a front row seat to the challenges that host parents and local coordinators face, and many times, these challenges boil down to cultural differences. Each of us goes into our unique experience wanting to learn and grow – but is it possible to grow together despite our (sometimes vastly) different perspectives?

We think yes. But how? That’s the question Regional Director Sara Fletcher set out to answer, pooling her knowledge with three Local Coordinators from her region, including:

• Anna Mowery, BA in Intercultural Studies
• Natalie Blackmon, Master’s in Human Development and Leadership
• Tammy Orahood, Director of Global Programs at Washington University in St. Louis, MO; PhD in Educational Policy and Leadership

Together, they’ve provided the building blocks for a “crash course” in cultural understanding, allowing us to build bridges across our differences and find growth on the other side.

Let’s start with a story.

As Host Families and Local Coordinators, we get a front row seat to the anxiety-inducing dilemmas that cultural misunderstandings can cause.

What if I told you that having a birthday party could be a point of anxiety for your student?

Meet Ahmet from Turkey, who spent one semester on exchange in a small, rural town in Tennessee. His host family’s home was full of siblings, love, and activity, and they were so excited to throw him a birthday party! It was going to be a big party with friends, gifts, cake, and a birthday meal of Ahmet’s choosing. Sounds like a great way to celebrate your birthday, wouldn’t you agree?

Except it wasn’t a great idea for Ahmet. Ahmet couldn’t – and wouldn’t – be able to accept those gifts in his culture. In his home country, if Ahmet didn’t need the gift, he would customarily return it and ask the giver to pass it on to someone who truly needed the gift. That is his way of celebrating. It is his culture. He can’t JUST drop that tradition because it is a part of who he is . . . but then again, he might not necessarily have the language to express this to his well-meaning host family.

What do you think would be the best course of action for him to take?

The tip of the Cultural Iceberg

Have you ever heard of the cultural iceberg? The cultural iceberg is a metaphor that illustrates the visible and hidden aspects of culture. Above the surface, we see elements like language, food, and traditions, which represent only a small portion of culture. Beneath the surface, however, lies a vast array of beliefs, values, and norms that shape behavior and identity. This model, developed by Edward T. Hall, emphasizes that understanding a culture requires looking beyond its visible elements to grasp the deeper influences that govern social interactions and perceptions.

When you think about your students’ culture, it’s important to consider what might be under the surface. After spending 10 months with someone from another country, you might notice differences in . . .

• Your concepts of time, fairness, justice, and gender roles (or lack thereof)
• What are considered good manners, polite gestures, and personal space
• Expectations for friendship, leadership, cleanliness, and modesty
• Approaches to religion, problem-solving, and child-rearing

Cultural Dimensions Theory

Very few people today would claim to doubt the existence of cultural differences. But where did these differences come from, and why did they occur? Culture’s function is to reduce misunderstandings through shared expectations of behavior, allowing societies to survive and thrive. It is transmitted to children and other newcomers — with every hug or shrug, each of us becomes a transmitter of culture.

In the 1970s, Dutch social psychologist Geert Hofstede left his job at IBM to research cultural values in 70 countries, traveling to nearly all of them. At the time, culture was not widely considered a relevant factor in business or interpersonal relationships. What impacted Hofstede most were the personal stories he encountered along the way, fueling his passion to understand the motivations behind people’s actions and emotions.

Hofstede’s research became the foundation for Cultural Dimensions Theory, a model that defines six dimensions useful for comparing the values and behaviors of national cultures. It can also be a helpful tool for understanding how your own culture differs from that of your exchange student.

The Six Dimensions of Culture (Hofstede)

1. Power Distance Index – Describes how much built-in respect exists between authority and subordinates. Equalized power reflects a low index, while strict hierarchies indicate a high index.
Example: Thailand has a higher power distance than Australia.

2.Individualism vs. Collectivism – Prioritizing individual needs versus the needs of the group.
Example: Australia tends to be more individualistic, while China is more collectivistic.

3. Uncertainty Avoidance – How comfortable a culture is with uncertainty. Highly avoidant cultures prefer clear rules and order (e.g., Germany), while those low in uncertainty avoidance are more relaxed and adaptable (e.g., Denmark).

4. Masculinity vs. Femininity – A society’s preference for assertiveness, achievement, and competition (e.g., Japan) versus cooperation, quality of life, and well-being (e.g., Norway).

5. Long-term vs. Short-term Orientation – Long-term cultures value perseverance, future rewards, and adapting traditions (e.g., the Netherlands), while short-term cultures emphasize quick results, respect for tradition, and fulfilling social obligations (e.g., the United States).

6. Indulgence vs. Restraint – The degree to which societies allow free gratification and leisure versus maintaining strict social norms and self-discipline. Indulgent cultures emphasize leisure, fun, and gratification of desires (e.g., the United States or Mexico), while restrained cultures value discipline, social norms, and self-control (e.g., Russia or Pakistan).

Case study: Germany, Thailand, and the USA

Cultures don’t exist in a vacuum, so this study only works when comparing them with one another. One very useful tool for cultural comparison is the Country Comparison Tool where this graph was generated. Let’s briefly compare three of the dimensions for our sample cultures – USA, Germany, and Thailand.

Power distance

In our comparison chart, you’ll notice that German culture has a low power distance.

• Tip: Your German student may communicate in a way that feels direct or even blunt, to the point where it could come across as disrespectful. This isn’t usually meant personally — many German students simply don’t see themselves as having less authority than the adults around them. Some may even expect adults to answer to them just as much as they answer to adults. Teenagers, especially, don’t always filter their feelings.
• If you feel frustration rising, take a moment to pause and check your ego before having a calm, kind conversation about how authority works in your home. Remind your student that you are the parent and that your household rules must be respected. You can offer a clear explanation of why a rule exists, but make it clear that, regardless of agreement, it still needs to be followed. On the flip side, be patient as your student adjusts to the differences between their culture and yours.

Thai students, on the other hand, often come from a culture with high power distance. They may be more likely to use indirect communication, “beat around the bush,” or follow a rule without fully understanding it out of respect for authority.

Individualism vs. Collectivism

In Thailand, culture tends to be collectivist, meaning group harmony and saving face are very important. Your Thai student might be completely lost in class but never ask for help. This can frustrate teachers and host parents who see missing homework or slipping grades without warning. Thai students may avoid asking questions because they don’t want to “lose face” or burden others. It’s best to check in often about how they’re doing in school. Offer help, review assignments together, and don’t assume they’ll ask. You can even explain that in the U.S., asking for help is both OK and expected. Be aware that your Thai student might say “yes” when they actually mean “no” to avoid offending you. Encourage honesty and reassure them that in American culture, being open about how they feel is appreciated.

German students are usually more individualistic, similar to American students. They tend to take responsibility for themselves and are comfortable expressing their opinions directly. In Thailand, culture tends to be collectivist, meaning group harmony and saving face are very important. Your Thai student might be completely lost in class but never ask for help. This can frustrate teachers and host parents who see missing homework or slipping grades without warning. Thai students may avoid asking questions because they don’t want to “lose face” or burden others.

Tip: If you have a student from Thailand, check in often about how they’re doing in school. Offer help, review assignments together, and don’t assume they’ll ask. You can even explain that in the U.S., asking for help is both OK and expected. Be aware that your Thai student might say “yes” when they actually mean “no” to avoid offending you. Encourage honesty and reassure them that in American culture, being open about how they feel is appreciated. In contrast, German students are usually more individualistic, similar to American students. They tend to take responsibility for themselves and are comfortable expressing their opinions directly.

Uncertainty Avoidance

Germany and Thailand are actually quite similar here — both cultures have a low tolerance for uncertainty and prefer structure and clear expectations.

• In the U.S., people are often more comfortable “winging it” or figuring things out as they go.
• Germans often deal with uncertainty by becoming experts and planning ahead.
• Thais rely more on social rules and traditions to create stability.

Your student may struggle if your family tends to go with the flow. They might feel anxious when plans are unclear or when expectations aren’t well-defined. For example, a student might avoid doing a chore because they’re afraid of doing it wrong — they’d rather be corrected for not doing it than for doing it incorrectly.

Try to provide clear guidance and reassurance, and let them know mistakes are part of learning.

What do we expect from our students regarding cultural differences?

It’s reasonable to expect exchange students to acclimate to life in the U.S. rather than assimilate. We can’t ask students to change anything about who they are or where they came from (and we wouldn’t even if we could!). 

Here’s what you can do to help exchange students adapt and acclimate to the culture they’re living in:

1. Be curious
2. Ask questions and converse
3. Listen more than you speak – your student is only able to express through words or objects about their culture whereas you are showing yours through 10 months of immersion.
4. Explore the cultural comparison tool to dig deeper and spark conversation.
5. Take a cultural awareness quiz like this one!
6. Expect the unexpected

Here are a few things to avoid doing:

1. Assume that “different” means “wrong”
2. Expect your student to change who they are or how their culture influences them and their choices.
3. Finish your student’s sentences for them. 
4. Argue about controversial topics (different than healthy, polite discussion!)

Cultural differences aren’t impermeable barriers – they’re opportunities to learn and grow. As a host, your openness and curiosity set the tone for your student’s entire experience. By helping them acclimate rather than assimilate, you’re modeling the kind of empathy and global awareness that make exchange programs so powerful.

Each small effort to understand one another brings the world a little closer together.

Until next time, stay curious and keep the conversation going.